Intro: Do you feel like you were meant to have a kick-ass career as a hair stylist? Like you got into this industry to make big things happen?
Maybe you’re struggling to build a solid base and want some stability. Maybe you know social media is important, but it feels like a waste of time because you aren’t seeing any results. Maybe you’ve already had some amazing success but are craving more. Maybe you’re ready to truly enjoy the freedom and flexibility this industry has to offer.
Cutting and coloring skills will only get you so far, but to build a lifelong career as a wealthy stylist, it takes business skills and a serious marketing strategy. When you’re ready to quit just working in your business and start working on it, join us here where we share real success stories from real stylists.
I’m Britt Seva, social media and marketing strategist just for hair stylists, and this is the Thriving Stylist Podcast.
Britt Seva: What is up and welcome back to the Thriving Stylist Podcast. I’m your host, Britt Seva, and this week’s episode is going to be a little bit different. It’s going to be a little bit more warm and squishy, but there’s something in the air right now and I felt very driven to speak on this topic and it might be a little bit less tactical. It might be one of those that you listen to when you’re feeling low or you’re feeling like you don’t know what’s next, or you feel like you’ve lost your way, or you feel completely demotivated.
But I have had more conversations than I can count recently from beauty professionals feeling burnt the F out and I think it’s a combination of things. I think that 2020 was a year of uncertainty so 2021 became a year of grind. A lot of people took on a lot in 2021 and now they look around and wonder how they got here, or they look around at everything they’ve got going on and they’re freaking tired. Maybe they’re happy with everything they have going on in their life but there are kind of these question marks about when will I know I’ve done enough? How do I know where I’m going? Am I doing the right thing? It almost seems like there’s more questions than answers. Can I get an amen? There’s just something in the air right now and I wanted to reflect on a few of the recent conversations I’ve been having with a few of you.
Don’t worry. I will not be dropping names, but I do want to share a few stories.
So I was talking to an incredible salon owner recently, who was saying, “I feel like no matter how hard I work, I always end up not accomplishing enough.” When we say things like, “no matter how hard I try, I’m never accomplishing enough,” subconsciously the track that plays in our mind is, “I am not enough. I am not enough. I am not enough.”
Now you can try and fight it, but that’s what comes up. The feeling of not being enough is detrimental to most every single one of us and this salon owner said, “It’s not about the money for me. I’d be happy making 50 grand a year. My family could live really well on that. I would be doing just fine, yet I feel like I need to keep up and do more and be more and what’s next. I am feeling really discouraged by it.” She felt like she could never be an Insta-famous salon owner, but that was the expectation of her even though she didn’t want it. She felt like she wanted to be successful, but nobody else saw success the same way she did.
This happened to be on a private coaching call and I said, “So what is your version of success?” She got emotional and she said, “Well, that’s the problem. I just don’t know exactly what it is.” This is a private call. We talked for a long time and I just asked her a lot of poignant questions. The more I discovered about her, I came to realize, I said, “I figured out what it is that brings you joy, makes you happy, and makes you feel like you are enough.” And she said, “Tell me what it is.” And I said, “You are seeking an impact on your community. You want to show other working mothers in your community that they can have it all, that they can be it all, that they are enough. You feel like if you are showing others that they’re worthy, that you in turn will feel worthy as well.”
It was a breakthrough for her. She was like 100%. She was like, “And if I make 50 grand doing that, I can go home at night feeling like I’m making an impact in the way that I want to,” and that was huge.
I want you to think for yourself right now how much effort you’ve put into that question of what is the impact I want to make, because for some of us, the impact we want to make is to show our children what’s possible.
I’ll speak personally. I was not raised in a home where it was like, “and Brittainy, this is what’s possible for you. The world is your oyster, seize the day, be who you want to be.” That was not the home I was raised in. The home I was raised in was “Marry somebody wealthy. You’re not very smart so your odds are not good. You’ll have to work hard and just kind of take whatever’s offered to you, ‘cause your chances are pretty slim.” That was the environment I was raised in.
Part of why I do what I do is so that my children never feel that way. And I know through a lot of self worth, I’ve found out that the success of my children is actually going to be a huge indicator for me of how well I’ve done because that’s my general generational legacy. That’s the pattern I’m looking to shift and change.
So for me, I related to this stylist very deeply in that it’s not about the money for me. I personally—like today to this day, I drive a car that’s seven years old. I don’t carry a fancy handbag. I just don’t, that’s not my way. I don’t need that flashy stuff. No judgment to those who do but I do what I do for a very different reason and I have to make impact. I’m looking to impact an industry. I’m looking to impact my children. I’m looking to change the perception of who I am and my potential. That’s what I do it for.
I got a little off track to tell my story, but what I want you to really ask yourself is what do I do this for? And let’s say you do this because you want to make a lot of money. Why? What’s your money story? Why is that so important? Do you want all that money because you want to travel the world? Do you want all that money because maybe your family lived in debt and you know how unstable that feels and you don’t want that. You need to get down to the nitty gritty of the why. Were you somebody who was overlooked as a child or as a teenager and you want to be seen as the whole, most potential version of yourself now? Do you need to be seen by others? Is that recognition something that’s really important to you? Clarifying what your success is going to completely change the way you build your career.
So going on that recognition, I was talking to another salon owner recently, who was saying, “I feel like I’m not getting the praise that I feel like I need and it makes me feel not successful”. Now, again, this owner said, “It’s not about the money for me. I do need to make enough money to feed my family and have a good living, but it doesn’t need to be hundreds of thousands of dollars.” And I said, “Well, maybe your idea of wealth is time,” and this owner said, “You know what? My husband and I have never had kids. It’s just the two of us. We actually have a really great relationship. We do date nights two nights a week. I feel like I have a balance. I have a lot of time.” So then I had to say, “Okay, well that’s not it. That’s not what’s missing then.” This person has the time wealth. It’s not about that.
I said, “Tell me what you’re doing in the salon. How are you spending your days?” And this owner said, “You know, I like working in the salon and being behind the chair. I do still take clients, but I really, really enjoy it.” I said, “Okay, well then why do you do what you do? Why are you an owner at all? Why don’t you just take clients? You love taking clients. You make enough money. You already told me that you have a good balance of life with your partner. You don’t have any kids. Why do you need to be an owner?” This person said, “I need to shift the way this industry sees salon ownership.” I said, “Now, hold on a second.” I said, “You need your team to see you as an owner differently.” This person said, “No, no. I need the industry to see that ownership doesn’t have to be the way it was 10 years ago when I was working for somebody else.”
Okay. That’s huge. But listen to the breakthrough I had to coach this person through. So the reason why I was on a call with this salon owner is remember, they were saying they weren’t getting the praise they felt like they needed and I said, “From whom?” They said, “I feel like I’m giving a lot to my stylists. They’re very ungrateful. They don’t recognize or realize everything I do for them. They take for granted all of the incredible opportunities I offer. We are a cut above. We are incredibly innovative. I know that they’re getting a better opportunity here than anywhere else. And they just don’t seem to care.” I said, “Well, what is it that you’re looking to provide for your stylists?” And this owner said, “I want them to build quickly, fast, and a dream clientele. I want to be the owner where when you come to work for me, like anything is possible. You’ll build super fast. And I feel like that’s happening. But the stylists who work for me are just unmotivated and unappreciative.” I said, “Yes, but that’s not what you’re doing this for. You are doing this because you need to shift the way the industry sees ownership. You told me that.” However, this owner was very caught up in her team being successful. She was like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I want my stylists to be successful. I want them to live their best lives. I want them to be happy. I want them to not miss out on an opportunity. I want them to be fulfilled.”
And I said, “Okay, so time out. So what is it? You want those who work for you to live their biggest, best lives, or you want the industry to shift the way it sees ownership. You can’t have two.”
This is where we get ourselves in a bind is we think we need to do everything and be everything for everyone all at once. My friends, I love that. I’m multi-passionate too. One passion at a time.
So to this owner, if you feel like, “Well, the way the industry sees salon ownership won’t change until all of the stylists in my building are happy. I’ve helped them to build a clientele and they’re living their best lives,” okay, so then the mission of changing the way the industry sees ownership is tabled for maybe five or 10 years, because you’re telling me it’s contingent on every single person in your building living their best life. The industry won’t see what you’ve done until those in your building are happy.
Now I’m not saying that that’s true. I’m saying this is the way this owner sees it. So then your mission of changing the industry has to be on the back burner because you’re telling me the industry won’t see it that way until Sarah and Alexis and Mallory and Jameson are all living their happiest, best lives. Whether that’s true or not, this is the way this salon owner sees it. You have to compartmentalize that because here’s the thing: you won’t change the perception of the way the industry sees ownership until you dial that in.
And here’s the thing—this is a bit of a sidebar: what stylists today want from owners is changing in real time. That has changed dramatically in the last five months. Since the turn of the calendar that has changed, and at Thrivers Live this year, I’m actually going to be sharing what has changed and what needs to happen. I’m not comfortable sharing it publicly just yet. I’m going to do it in small batches and small doses as to not create too many waves.
I mentioned this briefly before, and somebody said, “Just share it. No one will be upset.” I disagree because it’s such a radical change that I want to be very certain that what I’m seeing is systemic, and at this point I’m pretty much there. So I’m going to roll it out at Thrivers Live and then after that, we’ll test the waters with it at scale.
But what stylists today want from owners is not the same as it was even in 2021. It’s not the same as it was in 2019, 2018, 2002, or 1981. It has changed so dramatically and so dialing that in and figuring out what it is to provide those opportunities, what needs to happen so that those stylists can live their best lives, that is your goal.
When she says “I’m not getting the praise I feel like I need as an owner,” you won’t get the praise you feel like you need from your team. Very rarely that praise will come from other leaders and it does take time. The reason why most teams don’t praise their leader is the leader just doing their job. It’s why most kids don’t every day say, “Mom, you’re the best mom. You made the best dinner. I love the way you cleaned the bathroom today. Thank you for taking me to school. That was so great.” No, that’s just the mom stuff. The kids don’t thank you for washing their dirty socks. It’s just a mom job. It’s the same reason why your stylists don’t thank you for being a great leader. It’s just what you do. You promise them that you would be okay, so do it. You promised me when you hired me, that you’d be a great leader. Thank you for, I mean like being, doing what you said you would do. That’s not a reasonable thing and that’s why you have to wait to get that appreciation from other leaders because most of them are not doing what you’re doing, but like you said, you can’t. Owners won’t see you. You won’t get that industry praise and recognition until you really dial in your team and it is going to be thankless.
Welcome to leadership. But that’s what it looks like, right? But dialing in, right? This was all about like, “How do I know that I’m successful?” Be patient with the success, be patient with the process. It’s going to take longer.
There was another stylist I chatted with in the DMs and this person—to this person, I adore you. This person is very beloved in the Thrivers Society community, very beloved, and they were able to join the 2X Club because they doubled their income through Thrivers Society. Now this person doubled their income from $15,000 to $30,000, which is—that’s doubling your income. That’s amazing and they did it in a really short amount of time.
But when we say like, “Oh my goodness, you doubled your income. That’s incredible,” so many people rallied around this person and this person DM’d me and said, “I feel like a fraud. I feel like an imposter. All these people are congratulating me on doubling my income, but I went from 15,000 to 30,000. That’s not good.”
This stylist was convincing themselves that doubling their income—hello, doubling their income—wasn’t good because it wasn’t doubling it from 200,000 to $400,000, like that going from 15 to 30, which P.S. is life changing, is not good enough. That’s imposter syndrome.
And to this person, you have to realize that your success inspired—I saw it in the Facebook group—78 other people to fall back in love with their careers again, to know that anything is possible. To my friend who DM’d this, do you know how many salon professionals have been stuck making $24,000 a year for 30 years? Many. So when you diminish the fact that you went from 15,000 to 30,000, you are minimizing the incredible growth that you had and had you not shared that story, the 78 people who commented and said, “Oh my gosh, now that you’ve done it, I know I can do it too,” wouldn’t be feeling inspired. That is success.
And through this episode, that’s very heady and very woo woo and not my typical thing, I want you to really find a way to give yourself grace and rethink what success looks like. And yeah, maybe you’re not the influencer with a hundred thousand followers and maybe you don’t work in the fanciest salon and maybe you don’t strive to achieve a hundred thousand dollars a year. That doesn’t mean you’re not creating success.
I think for a lot of us, especially in a time where everybody looks real fancy on Instagram, it’s easy to get caught up in the hype and lose sight of what it was you were looking to create in this industry. For me, like I said, I wanted to create a comfortable life for myself and my family. It didn’t have to be fancy. I wanted to show my children what was possible and I wanted to be a very present person in my family’s life. If I’m doing those three things, my friends, I am a success.
When we say things like, “How will I know when I’m successful?”, that’s something that you have to answer for yourself. I want you to really dig down deep and ask yourself, what did I get into this for? What am I doing this for? What is the life I’m trying to create? And then don’t lose sight of it because comparisonitis and imposter syndrome are running rampant in this industry right now and it’s creating the burnout and it’s creating isolation and it’s creating a lot of self doubt needlessly.
This is an industry where anything is possible. Do not compare yourself to anybody else today or ever. Always fight to create your biggest, best life, whatever that looks like. All right. My friends so much love, happy business building, and I’ll see you on the next one.
